Fatherhood

I didn't think much about being father when I was really young. I just thought about competing in sports. After I grew up to about 12 or so, I started setting some life goals. Beginning with kicking down a tree (long story, and I know that I'm unusual), I wanted to get married by the age of 27. (completed at 26) My other life goal was to be a father and try to teach my children be kind, wise and loving.

The ultimate plan (as I saw it) was to have a boy first so that he can be around and protect his younger sister. When we found out that we were pregnant, we were both so excited that God is blessing our family that we had no preference of gender. (seriously) But I cannot lie and say that I am quite ecstatic about having a son first. I have begun dreaming about my hopes for my son. First comes prayers about his health, then I pray about friendship choices, leadership skills, female relationship choices, and that he would be spiritually sensitive to the God of the Universe.

One of the dreams I have is that he will be naturally athletic. A few weeks ago I decided to try and listen to Jessica's belly and check out what I could hear going on. Since we had already had an ultrasound and listened to the baby's heartbeat, I had an idea of what it might be sounding like in there. Until now, I had only heard noises through speakers and such so I thought I'd need to focus really hard because the baby noises might be faint. After a couple of minutes of common belly noises I heard what sounded exactly like a pop (the sound of breaking a bubble or bubble wrap). At that instant I thought, "Wow, that's not something I've ever heard before" and then tried to focus even harder on what could be happening next. What transpired next, or simultaneously really, was not what I was expecting. I felt an impact to my head the likes of which I hadn't experienced before. This impact took me completely by surprise, and I almost leapt off the bed with surprise. I quickly lifted my head, sat up straight and put my hand to my head to check if my head was sensitive to touch. It was quite a force that struck me, whether it was a kick, punch, elbow or knee. It could have been the combination of the shock and the funny popping noise that immediately preceded the impact that frightened me a little bit. To this day, I haven't listened to Jessica's belly again and I don't plan to. It looks like my dreams of his athletic prowess might come true.

Recently we made a purchase for our baby's room. I had some help putting the object together (thanks Steve) but it was still labor intensive and took a number of hours to complete. After it was completed, I thought about spending the night relaxing until Jessica mentioned that there was still more on her honey-do list, rearranging the room. Since she is pregnant I would not let her help in the rearranging of the room. So I heaved and pushed and pulled (using my legs) this new unit into position all by myself. By the time we finished it was 10pm, and I was a little sweaty. I thought to myself, this is what fatherhood is all about. Buying something for the child, putting it together, taking direction from your pregnant wife, getting sweaty and finishing late at night with a huge sense of accomplishment. Baby's first Christmas here I come.

I am excited for this next journey of my life. I understand that my son cannot learn many of the significant things I yearn to teach him until he gets much older, but I'll start by modeling some of those things for him and see what he can pick up. This has already been quite an adventure and I haven't even taken the New Daddy Boot Camp class. I can't wait to meet you, my son.

Daddy MAK